Editor’s Note: While these tips originally addressed message board posts, they apply well to any type of communications.

1. Seek first to understand, rather than be understood. If you can truly see the other person's point of view (even if you have to imagine it), then you can start phrasing things starting from where THEY are. I won't claim to be an expert, but picture it like this: Last time you were upset, did it help to be told to "chill"?

2. Consider using analogies, anecdotes and stories rather than arguing points. Don't make them preachy or absolute. The story may not even apply directly. (Note: I have ONCE been able to talk to people directly about what's going on, but these are people who know me VERY well and whom I know VERY well.)

3. When making a potentially controversial post, I suggest making sure your thoughts are clearly labeled as personal experience, personal opinion, and that you acknowledge you might be wrong. (My goodness, I have been wrong about some very big things in my life, such as the existence of God, but at the time I was so sure of myself.)

4. Always leave a way out for the other person to save face. A famous Japanese comic book artist spoke of his friend and how they argue, but that they always leave a way for each other to save face and keep their own dignity intact. I thought this was an excellent piece of advice!

5. And this one just came to me, but it's a powerful thought: Rather than point out flaws, point out new ways of looking at things! (And in order to do this, you need to go back to step 1... LOL) Out of everything I've written so far, I think this is one of the most powerful. The BEST part of this one is that it forces the writer (you, or me) to look for and find new ways of looking at things!

6. Only the person involved can judge him or herself, and they will only do that in the presence of unconditional love! If there is a hint of judgment, people tend to clam up. You must love FIRST; when they are less upset, they will see themselves more clearly.

7. Lastly, and most importantly, stop, pray, elevate your spirit to God's joy and peace, let go the need to be right, pray more, reread what you've written, wait for guidance, follow-through with the guidance, wait until it feels right, and then post. (If you're rushed, you may not get it all, but it's a good habit!)