As the strains of “Pomp and Circumstance” started playing and the graduates (over 1000) started streaming in, tears kept coming to my eyes and I wanted to just let loose and cry tears of thankfulness, relief, joy and awe. I have to admit I held back because I knew that once I started crying it would be quite some time before I could stop. It was something I needed to do later.

When I was 12, my uncle had a child out of wedlock with a woman who we later found out was addicted to heroin. This was Darcy's birth mother. When Darcy was an infant, I knew she would be my sister, and I loved that darling little baby. I prayed that she would be my sister. I don't think I ever told anyone about my prayer to God about wanting Darcy to be my sister. I was the only girl, with 2 older stepbrothers and one younger brother. When I was 13, my uncle broke up with Darcy's birth mom and her mother left the state with Darcy's half brother and sister in tow. My uncle asked my mom if she could watch Darcy for two weeks while he got his act together. He never did and Darcy became my sister sort of by default. My uncle was very addicted to drugs and in the years that followed, when Darcy would go on visits with him, he violated her and got her started on drugs. I always suspected something was going on, but being young myself, I didn't know the extent of the abuse. Darcy attended Christian school and church and was, for the most part, a great kid. When she was 15, her behavior changed erratically and she ran away to her boyfriend's house down the street. This started her downhill spiral.

In the years that followed, my parents moved to northern California and I took Darcy in with me for about a year when she was 18. We both decided to move on about a year after that. She met a guy about 2 years later and moved in with him, and I thought maybe she had finally found stability in her life. This was not the case. I lived with her and her boyfriend for a short time and came home one day to an eviction notice on the door. It seemed Darcy had blown our rent money on drugs. Her boyfriend and I had no clue what was going on. After that, things got really bad. She was addicted to crack cocaine and was living on the streets. She had a pimp and prostituted herself out for drugs. The next drug fix became her only reality. Nothing mattered except that.

I prayed for God to rescue her. At one point, I got a call from a police officer, and he asked if I could come and pick Darcy up from the station because she was in really bad shape and needed to get into rehab. I drove down to the police station praying that God would give me direction on how to handle this. I remember feeling so alone. I wished someone in my family would help me. My younger brother was also addicted to drugs and was living his life as a drug dealer. I have to admit, a hopelessness had come over me. I went through a great deal of depression during a lot of those years of my life. All I could do was pray that God would help us all.

When I got to the police station, there was not much left of what I had once known as a healthy, vibrant young girl. She was reduced to an 85-lb waif, covered in sores, paranoid and spasming, and I could barely keep her attention to carry on a conversation. It was heart wrenching. The police officer was so kind to her and told her that she had people who cared about her and that could get her help if she so chose. Darcy just responded in a way like, "Yeah, yeah you're right; okay, I'll do the right thing." I knew that she was not ready to get clean. She asked me if we could go back to her motel room and get her things before I brought her home to my house to find a rehab that would take her in. As we drove, I talked to her about trying to get some help and expressed my concern for her health and well-being. When we got to the motel, she told me that she would call me later and then I could pick her up. I knew then that she was not ready to get clean. One of the hardest things I knew I had to do was to drive away and leave her in that cheap little motel room that night. I cried all the way home. I prayed, "God, please help me figure out what to do." Darcy, of course, never called that night.

After that, Darcy disappeared. I spent many evenings driving through the seedy parts of Orange County, California looking for Darcy, stopping to ask officers if they had seen her. At my lowest of lows, I thought that I would soon get a call from a coroner to come and identify her body. I knew by looking at my sister that day in the police station that she could not keep living like she was living for long. At the same time this happened, I heard through the grapevine that my brother Jeff was dealing drugs with Colombian drug traffickers. My depression deepened. I could not understand how our lives had been reduced to this. We had all been raised in church, and this kind of thing was supposed to happen to other people. During this time, I found myself drinking quite a bit with the people at work. I put myself in some dangerous situations with my behavior. Looking back, I know that God protected me from harming myself.

About 7 months after I left Darcy at the motel, in March of 1994, I heard that she had contacted my parents from jail. She had been found passed out on the sidewalk and overdosed on crack. At that point she had outstanding warrants for her arrest for prostitution. She had been told that she was going to get 2 years in jail. That was when she found out she was pregnant. She was due to have the baby in August. There was a new rehab program for mothers and children that she could go into to have her sentence cut down if she could get clean and complete the program successfully. She was accepted into the program.

In July, Darcy called me and said she could have a day pass with a responsible family member. She asked if I could come and visit her and go out to lunch. When I got to the rehab, I saw a very pregnant Darcy. She was radiant. I was so thankful to see her alive and getting healthy. After that, I would take her on day passes once a week and also take her and another girl to Lamaze classes. In September, she was very overdue and was rushed by ambulance to the hospital vomiting and very ill. Two days later she gave birth to my nephew Matthew by C-section, a perfect, almost 10-lb, beautiful baby boy. I was in the operating room with her. I remember thinking at the time that she didn't look very good. Three years later, when she was pregnant with my niece she got her medical records from before, and that is when we learned that she had come very close to death because of a virus. The doctor never disclosed this to Darcy or to me. Again, God had spared her life.

Shortly after Darcy gave birth to my nephew, she moved to northern California to live with my parents. I felt a piece of my heart leave when she left with the baby. I knew that for her to be in a new environment was very important to her recovery, but it was still hard to let her go.

At the same time Darcy was going through rehab, my brother had also been arrested and was accepted into the Salvation Army's drug rehab program. They both got out of rehab within one week of each other. Praise God!!

When Matthew was 6 months old, Darcy started attending community college to get her GED and then enter college for her degree. Along the way, she got pregnant and got married. That was when my niece Megan was born. Darcy's marriage ended in divorce when Megan was nearly a year old.

Darcy has been working with developmentally disabled adults for the past 8 years and now writes grants for the non-profit agency she works for. She has had her ups and downs, but she has never gone back to drugs. Very few people are able to get off crack, but, you see, God is bigger than any government statistic. His love can reach down to the darkest alley and raise a person out of the most hopeless of situations.

On Darcy's graduation day, we had a graduation party for her and sang "Wind Beneath My Wings" to her. There were many times during that day when tears were streaming down faces. Darcy is very honest about her struggles and people know she is real and are amazed by her. If they only knew the half of it....

She is now in graduate school for her Masters degree. She would like to be a school psychologist. I know that God has special plans for her; I have always known this. She is also a very talented writer, and I think that someday she will write a book.

Ever since my sister and brother went through rehab, I have been able to share with others about hope and love. If you want to see me cry tears of joy, just get me started talking about the miracle God has done in our lives. I found my own miracle through Embraced by the Light after dealing with my depression and health problems. Although I never gave birth to children of my own, I am pretty sure I understand the power of the “Mother's Prayer” that Betty talks about.

I don't know how long I have on this earth, but I do know part of my mission is to tell Darcy's story. I know I am to tell others to never give up hope and to pray without ceasing for their loved ones, no matter the circumstances. Drugs, alcohol, abuse, finances, divorce, death, sickness -- God can do the miraculous in any situation. This is why I always quote one of my favorite songs:

"His Eye is on the Sparrow and I Know He Watches Me"

Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely,
And long for heav'n and home,
When Jesus is my portion,
My constant Friend is He;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Chorus: I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free;
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

"Let not your heart be troubled,"
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears,
Tho' by the path He leadeth,
But one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Chorus

Whenever I am tempted,
Whenever clouds arise,
When song gives place to sighing,
When hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him;
From care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Telling Darcy's story has been a long time coming. It was very difficult for me to go back in time to the pain that we all lived through. I know that this pain transformed our lives for the better and that through our transformation we are able to ripple that transformation to others.

My hope for you this season is that you come to know the unconditional love of God, whatever your circumstances, and that you know your life matters and that God has a beautiful plan for your life.

Know that you can talk to God at any time or anywhere. You can talk to him like you would your closest friend. As you probably already know, God speaks to my heart through music. Here are the lyrics to a song that touches my heart deeply about prayer:

On My Knees

There are days when I feel
The best of me is ready to begin.
Then there're days when I feel
I'm letting go and soaring on the wind.
'Cause I've learned in laughter or in pain
How to survive.

I get on my knees, I get on my knees;
There I am before the love that changes me.
See I don't know how, but there's pow'r
When I'm on my knees.

I can be in a crowd
Or by myself, in almost anywhere
When I feel there's a need
To talk with God; He is Emmanuel.
When I close my eyes no darkness there,
There's only light.

I get on my knees, I get on my knees;
There I am before the love that changes me.
See I don't know how, but there's pow'r
In the blue skies, in the midnight
When I'm on my knees.

I get on my knees, I get on my knees;
There I am before the love that changes me.
See I don't know how, but there's pow'r
When I'm on my oh, when I'm on my,
When I'm on my knees.

Written by David Mullen, Nicole Coleman-Mullen, Michael Ochs

Love and Light,
Rita