I didn't
have to wait long. A few days later, a niece called to tell me she
had found someone to make me a Native dress. When she asked me if
I wanted one, the question so surprised and excited me that I shouted,
"Yes!" I felt this would come next, God had let me know that he would
prepare the way when I was ready to do his will.
Then a day or two later I received a call from a woman who told me,
"Betty, you don't know who I am, but the Creator has told me something
about you, and I thought you should know it." All of my senses sharpened
as I listened to her continue. "You are in your awakening," she said,
"God has great plans for you. He wanted you to hear this from an outside
source." By now I had heard about "the awakening" in so many different
ways and by several different people that I became nervous about my
reluctance to act on the dress with enthusiasm. I made promised to
God that I would be more trusting in everything that I did for his
purpose, whether it made sense to me or not.
The next call came from the woman who wanted to make my dress. She
sent me a drawing of what she had envisioned for me, and I knew immediately
that this was the dress that the Lord wanted me to wear. In the garden
of the spirit world, I had seen a glimmer of its grander joy that
I would never forget--a rose of breathtaking beauty, singing praise
to the Lord with its own sweet tones, that I experienced as if I had
entered it and become part of it, rejoicing as it grew because of
me and my love for it. Now, embroidered with beads on each shoulder
of the dress, were magnificent roses that immediately reminded me
of that glorious rose that I had experienced in the beautiful garden
in the Spirit World.
The rose has always had special meaning to me in my life, it's significance
though unknown to me now, I know I will understand at another time.
When I was a child at Brainerd Indian School, my Principle named me
Prairie Rose. After my experience, a Shaman gave me the name Onjinjinkta;
meaning a rose that is red, ripe and in blooming.
Remembering that the Native dress was to be of a part of my protection.
I wondered what that meant. Then, before my dress was completed, I
read two articles criticizing the clothing that I had worn at my speaking
engagements. I realized that the reporters were sensationalizing their
reports and the thought of my native dress began to bother me.
When the dress arrived, before I took it out of the package, I stood
looking at the open box. I walked around the table where I had placed
it and continued to circle it, often walking away from it. The emotions
that I began to feel about the dress disturbed me, as if I knew that
once I touched it, I'd be committed to it, something I wanted to avoid
as long as I could. When I lifted the dress from the box, and held
it to me, and as it touched my skin, I knew that it was a part of
me... my spirit. And I knew in that moment that this is who I really
am. I felt my cells rejoice. This feeling ran though me completely,
it was indescribably wonderful! The doe skin dress was filled with
an energy that lifted me spirituality! It had purpose, and that purpose
was in my cells and was eager to begin. |
|
With Chief Arvol Looking
Horse
Anchorage Alaska, September 2001 |
