Pat
McGrew's mind rambled. She'd been focusing on a candle flame during the
eulogy, trying to stay in control. But when she heard Bob's voice crack,
as he said, "Steven Albert McGrew, our dear friend Sam, will live forever
in our hearts," she jerked abruptly back to the moment and a tremor ripped
through her body. She felt Mac's vain attempt at comfort, her son's arm
draping her shaking shoulders as he enveloped her in grief of his own.
It's impossible, she thought. It just can't be.
Bob
Anders, the McGrews' neighbor, lawyer and half of their favorite couple,
stepped down from the podium, casting a solemn glance Pat's way, and joined
his wife in the first pew across the aisle. Father Cooper took his place
and began his homily. "We've gathered here today to celebrate the beginning
of Sam's new life in God's kingdom."
I
can't listen to this, Pat thought. She turned her tear-laden eyes toward
the skylights over the altar and stared at the deep blue autumn sky beyond.
"Dear God, help me," she prayed, her lips forming the words silently.
Then, "dear Sam, why did you leave me?"
Another
sob wracked her being and her eyes over-flowed. She sniffed and searched
the pockets of her black crepe suit but found only wet tissues. Sensing
her mother's need through her own tears, Anne peeled two dry ones from
the bundle she was carrying and handed them to Pat. Then she turned to
answer her own daughter, Allison, who sang out sadly from her father's
arms in the pew behind, "why is Nana crying?"
"We
can't talk in church, baby," Anne whispered to her three-year-old as Pat
turned her tear-stained face toward the child and reached for her hand.
"I
love you, Nana," Ali continued in a loud whisper. "Where's my papa?"
"Where,
indeed?" Pat muttered, wiping her eyes.
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